i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
