the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
