I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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