I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
