I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
