Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
