Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
