why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
