I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize