"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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