it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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