Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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