like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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