The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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