Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
