Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize