Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize