Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
