Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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