what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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