Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
