His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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