i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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