Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
The best revenge is premature balding
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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