You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
