I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
im on a boat
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