Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
