is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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