it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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