I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize