lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
