hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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