Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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