I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
