I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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