Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
