She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
