So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
