Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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