with your own penis?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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