: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
In the future we'll all be gay
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
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