I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Randomize
