Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
