Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
