Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
