Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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