Plan B is the new Plan A
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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