so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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