I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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