As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
