she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize