Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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