hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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