Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
