I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
