Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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