did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
