People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
